Kanako's Heart
by Witchgar
Summary: This is my first fic. I hope you like it.  What is up with Yumi? - Can Kanako find out?  Rated T for situations - Sorry YumixSachiko fans you may be disappointed.  Please R&R  Removed alternate ending.


(This fiction is based on the characters and settings created by Oyuki Konno)

Chapter 1: Kanako's Heart

"Gokigenyou, Rosa Chinensis." I heard as I finished praying at the statue of Maria-Sama. I turned and looked behind me. "Gokigenyou" the slight brown haired girl replied to the first years who greeted her. I looked at the girl praying. It was my friend Fukuzawa Yumi, a student council member also known by the title, Rosa Chinensis. My name is Hosokawa Kanako and I am a second year student at Lillian's Girls School. After Yumi finished her prayers I greeted her, "Gokigenyou, Rosa Chinensis"

She looked up at me and smiled. "Gokigenyou, Kanako-chan. But please call me Yumi, we're friends after all." Last year, when I first started at Lillian, I idolized the then second year Yumi. At that time she was more saintly than Maria-Sama herself. I placed Yumi on a pedestal as the ultimate Pure maiden. I was very disappointed when I found out that reality differed from the fantasy my mind imagined. We then got to know each other better and became friends.

Yumi is a cute, nice, sweet, and expressive girl. She genuinely cares about people. You can tell by the honesty and sincerity she presents to everyone she meets. That's why I was surprised when I looked at her face as we greeted each other. She had the same warm smile, but when I looked in her eyes, they seemed different somehow. Somewhat sad, somehow colder than before. It wasn't so overt that anyone else would notice, but I was a Yumi worshiper for some time last year, so I knew every feature of her beautiful face. The change I saw there in her eyes, made me want to ask, "Is everything alright Yumi-sama?"

"Just a little tired is all." Yumi replied as she turned to walk away. "Have a good day Kanako-chan"

"You too." I called back to her. As I started walking to my classroom, my mind kept wandering back to Yumi and the incongruity between the sparking eyes I remembered and the diminished ones I saw this morning.

The thought of something wrong with Yumi was nagging at me. That's why I was so glad I saw Touko when I reached the classroom. Touko was Yumi's petit soeur and might know what was going on. The soeur system at Lillian's is a somewhat unique social system, where an upperclassman chooses an underclassman and makes them sort of a 'little sister'. With the older student guiding the younger student in the proper behavior expected of a student attending Lillian's. This is usually accomplished by the upperclassman presenting a rosary to the underclassman who then accepts it. Once they are soeurs the younger of the pair addresses the older as her 'Onee-sama'.

For Touko and I to be called friends would be a misnomer. We are more like acquaintances with and understanding. For most of last year we had been rivals for Yumi's attention, but we worked together well as we helped out with the student council's performance for the school's festival. Our relationship has become less strained after Yumi took Touko as her soeur.

"Gokigenyou, Touko-san", I called out as I approached her. " I saw Yumi-sama this morning and she seemed kind of odd. Do you know if there is anything wrong?"

"Gokigenyou, Kanako-san." Touko said as she looked up. "Onee-sama might be feeling down because Sachiko-sama graduated last semester and Onee-sama might be missing her." Sachiko is Yumi's Onee-sama; so it makes sense that Yumi might be feeling the loss. Since soeurs tended to have closer relationships than most friends, they would feel the loss after graduation.

"OK, just let me know if there is anything I can do to cheer her up." I responded.

"Sure will." Touko said, glaring daggers at me. I guess she still is a little jealous of my friendship with Yumi. I turned and walked to my seat, sat down and got my stuff ready for class.

Over the next week, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. Whenever I saw her, Yumi's eyes seemed clouded and her expression not as vibrant as I remember. Whether she was walking around campus, or in her official capacity as Rosa Chinensis, Yumi just seemed a hair short of what I would consider normal.

One morning, I decided to see if she wanted to join me for lunch. After morning classes were over, I took my lunch up to Yumi's class. I didn't see her there but I say her two fellow student council members, Shimako and Yoshino. "Excuse me Rosa Gigantea, Rosa Foetida.", I said.

Shimako, Rosa Gigantea, looked up and smiled. "Ah, Kanako-chan, how may we help you."

"I was just looking for Yumi-sama to see if she wanted to join me for lunch." I replied

"She hasn't been having lunch with us" noted Yoshino, Rosa Foetida. " I think she's been meeting Sachiko-sama for lunch at Lillian University. However you are more than welcome to join us." She continued offering me a seat. I thanked her and sat down. Lillian University is the escalator school next door. Most students unless they want specialized degrees matriculate form the Academy to there.

During lunch the three of us talked about ordinary things, my basketball club, what's happening with the student council, How classes have been. That's when I finally asked about Yumi. "I noticed Yumi-sama seems distracted lately is she alright."

" I've noticed that also, " Shimako said.

Yoshino piped in, "I don't think she's completely comfortable being a head of the student council yet. I also suspect she is feeling the loss of Sachiko-sama."

"Ah, I see." I said as I cleaned up my lunch things and got ready to leave. As I got up I added, "Well if there is anything I can do to help the student council, let me know. Thank you for your company." I said as I walked away and headed back to class.

That evening as I was heading to the bus stop, I bumped into Yumi. "Gokigenyou, Yumi-sama." I said.

Yumi looked totally distracted, and it took her a couple of seconds to realize I was there. "Gokigenyou, Kanako-chan", she replied with a slight smile as she walked on.

I did a double-take and watched her walk away. This behavior is completely unlike Yumi. When you addressed her, she would always say a few words or complement you. She would never just walk away. After that, I vowed to myself that I would get to the bottom of this, and do my best to help her.

The next day I became a stalker again. I got to school early and I followed her when I could. Over the next days I came with a good idea of her schedule. Upon coming to school, she would go to the Rose Mansion for a student council meeting. She would then go to class. Lunch would be spent in the old greenhouse, alone as if she were waiting for somebody. She never ate her lunch. Then she would go to afternoon classes followed by her cleaning duty. The to the Rose Mansion again for another student council meeting, then finally leave for home.

It was lunchtime that really bothered me. Through the windows I'd see her sit on a ledge, like she was waiting. While waiting she seemed to be doodling or writing on her lap. If she was meeting her Onee-sama, Sachiko as Yoshino said, Sachiko never once showed up. At the first bell after lunch, she'd get up straighten her uniform and then head back to class. I decide tomorrow that I would join her here for lunch.

The next morning I packed two lunches then headed off to school.

After morning classes, I collected my things for lunch, As I was getting up, a classmate got a hold of me and asked to borrow my notes. It was about fifteen minutes after lunch started when I made it to the old greenhouse. I was nervous when I got to the greenhouse door._ 'What if she wants to be alone,'_ I thought. _'Am I being a bother. Enough thinking,'_ I said to myself. I put my best smile on and opened the door. "Go- ", I started to say until my eyes focused on the girl sitting upon the ledge.

Yumi must not have heard my interrupted greeting. She was sitting on the ledge along the back wall of the greenhouse. She had her skirt raised so that her thighs were showing. I gasped as I saw her using an art knife to carve a line into the top of her thigh. My gasp must have startled her. She dropped the knife and it clattered when it hit the floor. She quickly straightened out her skirt to cover her thighs. Then she look up at me like a deer caught in headlights.

I dropped the lunches in my hand and ran over to her. "Yumi, are you alright?"

Yumi looked at me with teary eyes. "It's the only thing I can feel anymore", she stated.

I leaned over and gave her a quick hug. "Let me look at this." I said as I started to pull up the hem of her skirt. She didn't fight me as I slowly exposed the wounds. What I saw were a number of shallow slices on the top of her thigh. Some of them we scabbed over and some had red blood dripping from them. I took out my handkerchief and held it against Yumi's thigh and applied some gentle pressure to stop the bleeding. I looked into Yumi's sad eyes and asked, "Why?"

With that question Yumi completely broke down into tears. "Because she doesn't [sob] me … [sob] has duty. [sob] marr [sob] … Kashewagi.. [sob]..." I put my arms around her and let her cry on my shoulder. I held her tight and listened to her as my own hear started to break.

It seems Yumi asked to meet her Onee-sama here in this greenhouse after the graduation party. Yumi confessed her feelings of love to Sachiko. Sachiko felt the same way toward Yumi, but also told Yumi they couldn't be together due to her family's status and her obligation to marry her cousin Kashewagi. Since graduation Yumi hasn't seen or talked to Sachiko. During the semester break Yumi started stuffing her feelings of sadness, betrayal, and abandonment, because she didn't want anyone to worry.

After a while her sobs and cries quieted. I looked at her and said, "I'll always be there for you Yumi." I released her so I could check on her wounds. I lifted the cloth slowly so as not to reopen the cuts. Looking down at the wound from this angle, the shape of the wounds caught my eye. If I looked at is a certain way it spelled out Sachiko's name. My heart cracked again once I realized this. _'Oh Yumi,'_ I thought. _'What am I going to do.'_

I knelt down to pick the knife up off the floor. I also picked up Yumi's bloodstained handkerchief. I took them over to the sink and started to wash them off. As I was washing Yumi's handkerchief, I noticed the embroidery on it. There was a 'Y' over and intertwined with and 'S' as well as a pink rose in the corner. I cleaned it the best I could, but I don't think the marks will ever come out. If you look at it reversed the bloodstains even spell out 'Sachiko'. I wrung it out and left it to dry next to mine.

"Kanako," I heard from behind me. "please don't say anything about this. Can we keep it a secret." Yumi looked up at me pleadingly. I looked down into the depths of her mocha eyes. They looked almost normal again.

"It can be our secret." I replied. "Can we have lunch together her tomorrow?"

"I'd like that Kanako." Yumi said smiling as she wrapped her arms around me. "Thank you." She whispered as she let me go. "See you tomorrow." I watched as she turned and left back to class.

I picked up the handkerchiefs from the sink and placed them in my pocket. I also cleaned up the lunched I dropped when I came in. After everything was back in order, I walked back to my classroom.

The next day I could hardly wait for morning classes to be done. Lunchtime finally came, and I grabbed my stuff and headed for the greenhouse. When I got there Yumi hadn't arrived, so I set out the lunches and waited. Five minutes later, Yumi arrived. When she saw me she smiled a genuine "Yumi" smile that left me feeling warm and tingly all over. "I'm glad you're here." she said then added hesitantly, " I was worried you wouldn't be here after yesterday."

"Why wouldn't I?" I replied. "You are one of my best friends, and it wouldn't be right not to be here since I invited you. Have a seat." I motioned to the lunch laid out next to mine.

Yumi sat down and looked at the lunch in front of her. "You made me lunch. It looks delicious." She said blushing. She looked down embarrassed. "You didn't have to."

I smiled at her, looking into her eyes. "I wanted to do something special for you."

Yumi picked up the chopsticks and said "Itadakimasu." She started eating. Her eyes brightened, and she exclaimed, "This tastes even better than it looks. Thank you."

"You're welcome." I smiled at the lovely girl as she eagerly ate the food I had made with her in mind. We finished eating in silence. I wanted to say something about Sachiko but I wasn't sure how to bring it up. I decided on the direct approach after agonizing over it. "Yumi, can I ask you something? You don't have to answer if it makes you upset or uncomfortable. Have you spoken to Sachiko since graduation?"

She looked up at me and I could see her eyes start to cloud over. Whether it was because of held in tears or something else, I couldn't tell. But she started to seem a little agitated and her hand started to pull at her skirt. I reached over and grabbed her hand and held it in mine. Yumi visibly relaxed. I looked up into her eyes and said, "If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to."

"No, I want to.", she responded and squeezed my hand. Yumi took a deep breath and started. "Sachiko hasn't contacted me since we last spoke. I haven't tried to call her either. I want to be the one and only love in her life; I am not going to settle for less. It's been so long, I don't even know what she is thinking about anymore."

"I can go and talk to her and find out for you." I stated.

"Please don't" she asked. "That is why I can't talk to anyone else about this. They will feel like they have an obligation to meddle. Sachiko has to come up with a decision on her own."

"As you wish." I responded. "I just think she's stupid to miss out on all the good things you have to offer. You are a really special person Yumi." I squeezed her hand to accentuate the point.

"Thank you for your understanding," she said then added. " I think you are pretty special too, Kanako."

I blushed as I heard those words. She thinks I'm special, I thought to myself. We chatted for the rest of our lunchtime. We talked about various things: school gossip, our classes, she asked about my new sister. All the while she never let go of my hand. I never felt so happy before in my life.

"Tomorrow?" She asked as she was heading back to class.

" I wouldn't miss it." I replied, grinning.

The next days went by in a whirl. This was the happiest time in my 16 years of life. My lunches were spent talking with Yumi and getting to know her better. We talked about our families, thoughts about the future, likes and dislikes. I learned pretty quickly that any talk about Sachiko or the student council, since those subjects invariably made her uncomfortable and agitated. Whenever she got like that I grabbed her hands to calm her. Ah Yumi, I thought, when will you realize that you a truly loved by more people than just Sachiko. I wanted to tell her, but I couldn't bring myself to be that open about my feelings for her. I was scared.

The following day, as I was getting ready to go for my lunch date at the greenhouse, Touko caught up with me. "Meeting Yumi for lunch again?" She asked sarcastically.

"As a matter of fact I am." Even though I had nothing to hide I could feel my face redden.

"Just what do you think you are doing?" Touko asked, "She already has a petit soeur. Me to be exact."

"Touko, you know I've never been interested in that. I just want to have lunch with my friend. You have no need to be jealous." I responded.

"But she spends more time with you than me lately." Touko whined.

If Touko only knew that anything related to the student council reminded Yumi of Sachiko. And that those reminders caused Yumi to get agitated and want to cut herself. If Touko only understood how much pain Yumi is in right now, Touko wouldn't be so nasty. However, I had to keep Yumi's confidence. Who knows what would happen if she found out I betrayed her. I told Touko, "I'm sure she has her reasons. Have you asked?"

"She keeps telling me that nothing is wrong; but I know that's a lie because she gets agitated when I ask. What's going on Kanako, you must know." Touko pleaded.

"It's not my secret to share, I'm so sorry Touko." I responded and ran out of the classroom. Once I was sure Touko wasn't following me, I went to the greenhouse.

I entered the greenhouse and was unprepared for what I saw. Yumi was sitting on the ledge with her thigh bared scraping at it violently. I ran over and grabbed her hands away. "I'm here Yumi." I tell her as I wrap my arms around her.

"Kanako, where were you? I was scared that you didn't want to be with me anymore." Yumi sobbed.

"Yumi, I'm sorry but Touko grabbed me to talk before I could leave class. She was worried I was stealing her Onee-sama." I explained. "As to your other worry, look me in the eyes." I said as I cupped her chin ans raised her head so our eyes met. "I would never desert you Yumi. You're my best friend and I care for you deeply. Now let's get you cleaned up. OK?"

I went over to the sink and wet my handkerchief. I wrung it out, walked over to her, knelt down, and started wiping the blood off Yumi's thigh. The wounds looked deeper than before. I took a napkin from my lunch and dressed the wound. " There, all done." I said looking at her. I was heartbroken when I looked into sad, tearful eyes. I put my arms around her and embraced her. "Let's eat." I said, as I let her go.

I set up the lunches. Yumi didn't make any motion to eat, so I picked up a octopus-shaped sausage and moved it toward Yumi's mouth. "Here." I said and Yumi ate the food from my chopsticks. We ate silently with me feeding the both of us.

After we were done eating, I looked at Yumi. "Are you OK?" I asked. Yumi nodded and laid her head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arm around her.

"Thank you for looking after me." Yumi whispered as she raised her head and kissed my cheek.

I blushed and felt my heart beat faster when her soft lips landed on my cheek. "That's what friends are for." I went on, "I'm sorry I was late today. I didn't have much choice though when Touko cornered me."

"I should spend some time with her. She's probably lonely. Do you mind if we don't have lunch tomorrow?" Yumi asked.

"No, I don't mind." I responded hiding my disappointment. We cleaned up our mess and headed back to class.

The next day I was greeted by a smiling Touko when I walked into class. "I'm having lunch with my Onee-sama." She said beaming.

"I'm glad." I replied. "Touko, do me a favor and don't push her." I added.

"You still can't tell me why?' She asked.

"I'm sorry." I said shaking my head.

All day my mind was filled with thoughts of Yumi. Was she OK? How lunch with Touko went. Was she agitated. And a host of other thoughts revolving around my concerns for Yumi. After what I thought was the longest day possible, afternoon classes were over. I decided that after cleaning I was going to skip my club activities and go home.

When I got to my locker to change into my outdoor shoes, I saw a note folded up and slipped into my left shoe. I unfolded it. It read:

_Kanako,_

_Something came up and the student council will be having lunchtime meetings for a while until we are caught up. I'll try and get together with you when I can._

_Yumi_

I got out a pen and responded to the note.

_Yumi,_

_I understand. Call me if you need anything. Take care of yourself._

_Kanako_

After leaving the note in her shoe box, I headed home.

I didn't pay much attention in my classes over the next couple of days. My mind was completely consumed with Yumi. My thoughts we alternating between worry, hope, loss, and love. My mind dwelt on the feeling of her soft lips against my cheek or how close we felt when I wrapped my arms around her. During my free time I wandered the school grounds hoping to catch a glimpse of her, in order to ease my worried heart. I tried caching up with Touko, but she seemed to be disappearing after classes also. They must be really busy, I thought to myself. I also spent my lunches in the greenhouse hoping Yumi might just show up there, if she had a little free time.

Nights at home weren't much better either. I'd end up doing my schoolwork and then made myself busy near the phone, just in case Yumi called. I tossed and turned in my bed at night thinking more than friendly thoughts about her. I had just given up hope that she would call that night. When I heard the phone ring. "Hosokawa residence. Kanako speaking." I said as I picked up the receiver.

"Hi Kanako, this is Yukki, Yumi's brother. Yumi was admitted ti the hospital this afternoon and she is asking for you. Will you come?" Yukki asked.

"I'll be there as soon as I can." I answered and hung up the phone.

I nearly bumped into HER as I reached the sliding glass doors of the hospital. "Please excuse me," she said as she looked up.

"Gokigenyou Sachiko-sama." I said coldly.

"Ah, Kanako-chan," she responded, "Are you here to see Yumi?"

"Yukki called me and said that Yumi asked for me." I stated. "Why are you here?"

"Yukki called me also." Sachiko replied as we walked to the desk.

Sachiko asked at the desk where Yumi was. We walked to the room together. It took all my self control not to scream and yell at the person who gave me back a broken Yumi. As we approached the hospital room, I saw Yukki sitting outside.

"Yukki, what happened?" Sachiko asked the question that was on the tip of my tongue.

"When I came home I saw her passed out on the floor. When I couldn't wake her, I called for an ambulance. It seems she has a wound on her leg that got badly infected. She just got back from surgery to remove the infected tissue from her leg, but some of the infection is still in her blood. The doctors say that if they can get her blood cleaned should recover." Yukki explained.

My heart jumped into my throat. I was mortified that If I had done something more, Yumi wouldn't be here now.

"Can I go see her?" Sachiko asked Yukki as she reached for the door handle.

I grabbed her hand and roughly turned her around to face me. "What gives you the right!" I yelled. "Yumi told me about your meeting after graduation. After what you said, you don't even deserve to be in the same room as her!" All my pent up worry, my anger, and my love for this kind, gentle, brown-haired girl, gave me the courage I needed to speak on Yumi's behalf. I continued. "Yumi told you how much she loved you, cared for you, and wanted you. She put her whole heart into your hands. And what did you do in return. You crushed it!" I accused.

Sachiko interrupted. " I told her how I felt. I returned her feelings."

"No, you didn't. You didn't return the exact same feelings. What if the roles were reversed and she wanted you to share her with Sei-sama." I shot back. I looked into Sachiko's eyes. I could see the light finally dawning on her. How deeply Yumi loved her. Even with that I couldn't let up. "She came back after break, broken. There was no joy or happiness left in her. All she had was the mask of duty and loyalty to cover her pain.

Sachiko broke down in tears hearing this. "I can fix this." She pleaded. "I'll disown my family, move out, and live like a pauper if I have to."

"It's too late Sachiko." I told her. "Do you want to know who caused that wound on her leg that they cut her flesh for. The wound that has her lying in that bed with tubes pumping medicine into her. I'll let you read it for yourself. Right here in Yumi's precious blood." I took the bloodstained handkerchief that I had kept from that first day in the greenhouse. I unfolded it so that the message written in blood would be clear, then handed it to Sachiko.

Sachiko looked at it, and read the characters that were formed by the bloodstains. At the shock of that realization Sachiko fell to her knees and cried, "I'm sorry Yumi."

"Sachiko, why don't you stay out of it and let me try to fix what you have broken." I finished up my tirade and entered Yumi's room. I closed the door and looked at the girl on the bed. She looked so small surrounded by the tubes and the wires that were monitoring her, and pumping the much needed antibiotics into her. I walked over to the head of the bed and looked down. Her face looked so peaceful. It reminded me of the eternal maiden I idolized in my first year, who became my friend, and hopefully something more once we are through this. I reached down and ran my fingers through her soft hair. I leaned over and gave her a kiss, "I love you, Yumi." my whispered confession barely heard over the noise of the machines. I sat down, held her hand, and wept silently.

I don't know how long I sat there crying when I heard Yumi's voice. "Kanako, don't cry. Everything will be alright soon." I squeezed her hand and prayed to Maria-sama that she would be. "Could you do me a favor?" Yumi asked.

"Anything." I stated.

"Don't blame Sachiko. This isn't her fault. She just wasn't ready yet." Yumi told me softly in a whisper. "Thank you for being by my side." she added. "I love you Kanako." she sighed as she closed her eyes.

"I love you too, Yumi." I whispered as the alarms started blaring.

**- One Year Later -**

I looked down and read the grave marker.

"Here lies Fukuzawa Yumi, the light of angels"

One year ago I stood here and said goodbye to the love of my life, Fukuzawa Yumi. Her friends and family were all gathered around then so I didn't voice my true feelings aloud. There must have been fifty or more people here to say their farewells. Yumi had touched the hearts of so many people in her scant seventeen years. That thought made me smile.

I reached into my pocket and took out the offering I was going to give my love. It was the picture we had taken together after the school festival in my first year. It showed the two of us proud and smiling. Tears streamed down my eyes as I propped the photo against the headstone. I didn't notice there was anyone next to me until I saw a hand place a second picture next to mine. This was the famous picture of when Yumi first met Sachiko. Both of them were in the picture with the older Sachiko fixing Yumi's sailor collar.

I looked at the woman next to me. "She never blamed you, you know. She even forgave you at the end. I forgive you also. It's what Yumi would have wanted me to do." Sachiko looked over at me with tears in the corner of her eyes. I continued on. "I wanted to tell you that at the funeral, but you never came."

"I was here. By that cherry blossom over there." She pointed to a tree at the edge of the clearing. "I couldn't bring myself to be around the accusing glances."

I nodded. "I apologize for what I said the last time we saw each other. I was so hurt and angry at you and the whole situation."

"It needed to be said, or I would have lived my life blind to what was in front of my face. I should be thanking you. I'm my own woman now because of your words that night. I moved out and left my family right after the funeral. Now I am living in the dorms and tutoring students for extra money. I'd like to think Yumi would be proud, don't you?" Sachiko explained as she started to cry.

I grabbed the older woman's hand and pulled her into an embrace. "Yumi would definitely be proud of you Sachiko." I said as the tears rolled down my face. We stood there holding on to each other and crying for the bright-eyed, honest, cute girl we both came to love.

I am not sure how long it was until we cried the last of our tears and let go of each other. Sachiko looked at me and asked. "Do you want to grab a coffee somewhere and talk about our Yumi?"

"I'd like that a lot." I said as I took her hand in mine.


End file.
